Mean Girls

Do you know what everyone says about you behind your back? Hmm? They say that you’re a homeschooled jungle freak, that’s a less hot version of me! (Regina George in Mean Girls)

Regina George, the high school queen bee who leads a pack of mindless believers called the Plastics, and the finest Mean Girl of all time, lives inside of you. She lives inside all of us.

Admit it. She’s there. She hides a spiteful personality behind a cute and innocent façade of good intentions. She calls it “self protection,” convincing you that her caustic comments are designed to keep you from doing something you will regret. You’ve decided to believe this, even though she makes you feel like shit, and so she is a powerfully manipulative force inside of you.

And evil takes a human form in Regina George. Don’t be fooled because she may seem like your typical selfish, back-stabbing slut faced ho-bag, but in reality, she’s so much more than that. (Janis in Mean Girls

The last time you tried on your favorite skinny outfit, I’ll bet you heard a conversation something like this in your head:

Regina: Oh my God, I love your skirt! Where did you get it?

Lea Edwards: It was my mom’s in the ’80s.

Regina: Vintage, so adorable.

Lea Edwards: Thanks.

Regina: [after girl walks away] That is the ugliest fucking skirt I’ve ever seen. (Mean Girls

Realize that this voice is not protecting you at all. She is really not your friend; she is your frenemy.

Your inner Mean Girl carries your own personal version of the Burn Book, the diary of your most embarrassing secrets and humiliations that you would rather forget, and she holds it over your head and threatens you with it any time you are about to step out and shine. She tells you that she’s there to protect you from doing something stupid.

[reading from the burn book] Made out with a hot dog? Oh my God that was one time! (Amber D’Alessio in Mean Girls

Ask yourself, is this productive? Is this allowing you to succeed? Is this allowing your happiness?

The truth is, you’ve been listening to these words, first from an adult close to you, and then from the voice inside of you, since you were a little kid. It’s so common that it’s normal to you now. You probably don’t even realize that you’re doing it most of the time.

The problem is that these are the words of the limiting beliefs that hold you back and keep you from living the life you wish you could. Holding yourself back, staying “safe” where you are, keeps you from enjoying your life.

I don’t hate you cuz yo’ fat… yo’ fat cuz I hate you! (Jessica Lopez in Mean Girls

You are designed to experience and grow. You are meant to step out and shine.

You might find yourself arguing with my comments at this point. You might find yourself thinking, this self talk keeps me grounded and keeps me motivated. OK. And how is that working for you? Notice that you’ve been saying these words to yourself and thinking these thoughts since you can remember, and it’s gotten you to where you are now. Stuck in sameness and wanting more, feeling frustrated.

Cady: Regina seems… sweet!

Janis: Regina George is not sweet! She’s a scum-sucking road whore, she ruined my life! (Mean Girls

On the other hand, think of someone in your life who always believes in you and always has words of encouragement for you. Maybe it’s your grandmother. Maybe it’s your high school basketball coach. As you think of that person and what they say to you, notice that you find yourself wanting to experience their expectations of you. That is, until the Mean Girl quashes those thoughts and positive feelings.

What if you were uplifted and encouraged all the time? Imagine the happy life you could have. What would you be doing? Would you ask that guy out on a date? Would you sell your home and finally move to Hawaii? Would you apply for that loan and start that catering business you’ve been dreaming of?

You can program your mind and rewire your brain to think the thoughts all the time that encourage and uplift you. Maybe that’s too much to ask right now. How about if you just silence the Mean Girl. Not only is it possible, it’s quick and effective and within reach. Begin by deciding to silence the Mean Girl no matter what.

Just imagine what you could do, have and be in your life if you were encouraged and felt good about yourself all the time.

Posted in Coaching

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