Who’s the Driver?

I think that life is many journeys. I like to have fun along the way, and I like the idea that I can have as many journeys as I desire. I like the idea that I can have whatever kind of journey I want, and the next journey can be something very different from the one I’m on now. I like the idea that it’s all up to me.


I like the feeling of arriving at my destination, even though I actually spend more time journeying than arriving.  I like that I get to choose the speed, the amenities and even the route for each journey. I have to admit that too many times I’ve taken the economy class; the slow boat to China and beyond. I get sea sick, and with all of the rough seas I’ve explored, it hasn’t been pleasant. I didn’t think I had choices about how to experience my journeys. I just accepted the option that I saw others take. So, I’ve often traveled too slowly, too uncomfortably and too indirectly. Now I want to get where I’m going safely and comfortably and quickly.  Now I know I could have chosen first class luxury with Concorde speed. Now I know that it would have cost me the same as the fare on the slow boat, and it would have been nice to have a driver who handled the hassles of the transportation while I focused on the pleasures along the way and the fun I would have at the destination.


Some people choose a slower pace for their journey and they choose to drive themselves. Maybe they want to savor their experiences; and maybe it gives them a sense of control to do it all on their own. Maybe they like the possibility that they will get lost along the way. It could be exciting.


Coaching is for people who want to be sure they reach their destination at the speed and comfort level they choose. A good coach is like a taxi driver, a tour bus driver, a limo driver, a bus driver and even an airline pilot. I hire a coach who acknowledges my destination and my desired mode of transportation, and safely transports me from here to there at the pace I have requested. A good coach doesn’t decide where you’re going; your coach just helps you to arrive at the speed and with the comfort level you choose. A coach can map and navigate your journey or your coach will follow the course you’ve set and the map you’ve created. It’s up to you.


I am choosing NLP coaching for my journey right now. I’m feeling stuck in a rut. Even though I know where I want to be and know the NLP techniques to accomplish such a transition for others, I want skilled coaching in not only getting out of the rut but moving as quickly as possible to where I want to be. I tell my coach how I want my journey: the long way, the short cut, the economy class, or first class, and they devote themselves to deliver me to my destination according to my preferences. I can sit back and enjoy the journey while knowing that my coach will safely transport me exactly where I want to go.

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How to Have New, Expensive and Luxurious Right Now

Today I took my 12 year old Santa Fe to the dealership for maintenance. I love that car. I’m so proud of this vehicle for continuing to provide me with easy, safe, and reliable service. Sure, it has 12 years of Illinois wear and tear, but we’ve been together for so long we’re comfortable and routine. I’m very happy with it, and so I have committed to keeping it as my primary vehicle for another 2 years, at least. So, while waiting for the servicing to be completed, I sat in the dealership customer lounge listening to Matt Lauer and taking care of emails on my Galaxy Note. Eventually I looked up and noticed some brochures on the table next to me. I looked at the 2014 Santa Fe brochure and thought, they’re not so different from my baby. As I was thinking about how well my little Hyundai has performed all of these years, I noticed a brochure for the Genesis, Hyundai’s first luxury vehicle. Curious, I opened it up and that’s when it happened. As I turned each page, I fell deeper in love. As if from a trance, I awakened and realized I had walked into the showroom, and much to my horror, I heard myself asking for a salesperson to show me the Genesis. Not a good place to be when you’re starry-eyed and having your 12 year old vehicle fixed. (As an experienced trial attorney who also coaches with hypnosis and NLP, I later wondered just how I happened to be in trance after sitting next to the showroom of a car dealership, but that’s a story for another blog.)

I took a test drive in the Genesis. Since I had not been in the vehicle market for 12 years, it was like I woke up from a coma and realized I was in a whole new world. On the dashboard and along the driver’s seat there were all sorts of buttons  marked with strange icons. Ted, the sales guy, encouraged me to take it for a spin on my own, but I insisted that he ride along with me. I was afraid I might not find the turn signal in this thing. Also, my sensory system was being so deeply nourished, what with the new car smell, the buttery soft supple black leather, the blinking dashboard lights and the stereo sound system so crisp and clear that it seemed as if I was on stage with the Chicago Symphony Orchestra, I was afraid my brain might be overloaded. As it turned out, I didn’t need his assistance for any of the basics with driving, but I did appreciate his company. For one thing, I learned that he had only a few months ago traded in his flip phone for a keyboard phone. He doesn’t even have a smart phone. We were kindred spirits. By the time I completed the test drive, I realized that my infatuation with Genesis had become a deep and abiding commitment of love.

Then I walked away from it, fully satisfied in the pleasure of the experience.

Oh, I wanted that Genesis. Right here. Right now. It was because of the way I felt when I was driving it. But really, right now, I just want a reliable vehicle: one that gets me from point A to point B. And I have that already. And I don’t have to learn anything new about my Santa Fe in order to drive it. But that feeling I had with Genesis was very compelling. It was new, hot, fresh, fast, sexy and luxurious and that’s just how I felt about it. And then it occurred to me: why can’t I feel about my Santa Fe the way I feel about Genesis? I can. I don’t have to pay $60,000.00 to feel new, hot, fresh, fast, sexy and luxurious. Not yet, anyway. I applied the simple NLP technique of anchoring, taking those fun, shiny new car feelings and attaching them to my Santa Fe—the vehicle which has earned those feelings. And I’m in love with my baby all over again, and in the process, I feel good!

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